We are two sex educators striving to create a collection of sex-positive information for the masses.

We are also a non-discriminatory, bilingual (Spanish and English) sex blog eager to answer any and all questions ranging from sexual health to emotional intelligence.

If you'd like us to answer your non-anonymous question privately, please say so in your message.

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Somos dos educadoras sexuales en una misión por recopilar y presentar una colección de información sexo-positiva para las masas.


Somos un blog inclusivo y bilingüe, dispuesto a responder cualquier pregunta que tengas, desde salud sexual, hasta inteligencia emocional.

Si desea que contestemos a su pregunta no-anónimo en privado, por favor díganos en su mensaje.






As SFRCC explains, “Because many people define rape at penetration by a penis, woman-to-woman rape is not acknowledged or taken seriously. But in fact, it is estimated that one out of three lesbians have been sexually assaulted by another woman.”     

 

Making the victim feel disempowered is a key factor in all sexual assault, asserts Janelle White, executive director of San Francisco Women Against Rape. SFWAR, which “provides resources, support, advocacy and education to strengthen the work of all individuals, and communities in San Francisco that are responding to, healing from, and struggling to end sexual violence” is a women and queers of color run agency that has been, among other issues, addressing the hidden one of female/female rape for years.

White explains that women who have been sexually assaulted by other women face even more hurdles in coping with their rapes than do women who have been raped by men.  “Women are told conflicting things from ‘this isn’t really rape’ to how could you accuse another lesbian/bisexual woman of rape.”

White and SFWAR take the approach that when a person is raped “your power has been taken away from you. We like to provide people with a lot of different options. There are no ‘shoulds’ in response to being raped. Every woman needs to know that. First off everybody needs to choose their own healing path.” SFWAR tries to present specific and individuated plans to help rape victims find that healing path–including victims of rape by women. White explains that these can include “filing a police report, seeking medical attention, looking for community-based responses to get the healing that you need and healing from a community as well.”  

 

White explained that women who experience female/female sexual assault are less likely to seek help than women who are raped by men and have other fears associated with dealing with police and the court system as well as their own LGBT communities.

 

Spellman says she didn’t go to police about the rape because, “I just didn’t want to be that girl. I didn’t want to be the woman having her lesbian lover arrested. What happened to me was bad enough. I just couldn’t see putting myself through any more trauma. I was not about to let my being raped in a park after being shoved to the ground and really roughed up become a she said-she said lesbian dramarama. I was raped. But I could see how that would be totally diminished by everyone, just as it was by Maria who actually kept saying to me, ‘You now how you love this, baby.’ Oh–how could she do this to me? I used to love her. How could I ever trust another woman again?”

feminist-space:

Just because the body responds automatically does not mean the impulse was ever wanted, invited, or condoned.

This is also often used as an argument to dismiss male survivors’ claims, that they responded physically therefore they consented. This is absolute bullshit.

Remember. Arousal does not mean consent.

(via fuckingrapeculture)

Um, this might be a bit of an odd question, but here I go. I’ve got uterine didelphys, and because I have two vaginas in the space where only one’s supposed to be, it’s sometimes uncomfortable to use super tampons, since they’re bigger than regular. I’m also a virgin. My doctor said that this shouldn’t affect my future sex life, but I’m just not sure. Is there anything that I can do myself to make sure that my condition doesn’t make my first sex experience with a guy completely excruciating?

Just for starters, we’re not doctors, so that ought to be kept in mind. Anything we say does not substitute a professional’s advice.

I don’t know your age, but regardless, a good relationship with your doctor/gynecologist is crucial. I hope you find that video somewhat reassuring, as it addresses some of the issues you raised. 

Now, sex as an excruciating experience is completely circumstantial. 

This video covers a bit of what some women’s sex lives are like. This girl mentions she only has one clitoris, and one g-spot. 

Uterus Didelphys Help is a good reference site. Reading about other people’s experiences and being able to exchange concerns 

There will often be a more dominant side than the other 

I know that my right side is dominant.  The left can be used but it has to be on purpose.  The left is tighter and just feels different.

 The only issue I have with sex is if the wall gets hit, similarly to how your partner has said it feels like he hits a wall. But whereas before I was frightened of it hurting, I have actually since learned that it’s more just uncomfortable, but doesn’t particularly hurt… more like poking the bit between your finger and thumb

I’ve never felt uncomfortable during sex but I am aware of what side is being used also.

 I think the worst thing that has ever happened and more than one time is during sex if he pulls out to far going back in it hits the skin in the middle. That is the worst!

i have 2 uterus’, 2 cervices & two vaginas and i cant have sex in either side as the entrances are too small

Sex has always been painful for me and like the other woman said it’s because of the septum that separates my vaginas. Sometimes my husband hits it and all sexual activities have to stop because it feels like something has tore.

 The key here is communication, communication, communication. We’ve talked about sexual debuts and how that first time is all about trying out how different things feel. It’s your responsibility to let your partner know of your situation and to be extra careful that first time while the two of you get used to how things work.

First Intercourse 101

First-Time Intercourse: It was.. good?

If something feels uncomfortable, painful or off, you let him know. Likewise, if something feels good, encourage them! Experiment with it. That’s what your first time is all about!

Insensitivity is/can be/ might probably be an issue. Bottom line? Not worth it, Anyone who shames you, makes you feel uncomfortable in any way about you and/or your body is not worth your time. 

Hope it helps!

- Claw

shavingryansprivates:

kind of long rant on the abuse of the word “opinion” in terms of sociopolitical viewpoints

Read More

sexysextips:

A lot of people are confused about what exactly sex positivity entails and how to “properly” be sex positive.

What is it?

Sex positivity stems from the massive overbearing taboo surrounding sex and sexuality. It aims to fight back and encourage people to think of sex in a…

rainbowrowell:

Jon Stewart vs. People Who Don’t Understand How Birth Control works

(via ocherryxlimeadeo)

king-amphy:

yes thank you
now i feel less guilty u w u

(via ocherryxlimeadeo)

get-sherlock-s-arse:

okay kids repeat after me

  • there are no rules on sexuality
  • you don’t need to be sure of anything
  • you can always be curious
  • liking someone of a gender that you don’t prefer is fine
  • don’t shame people for what they do or what they like

(via femininepositivity)

You know what I love? When people don’t see my race. There is nothing more affirming for me as a person than to have essential parts of myself and my experience completely disregarded. I mean, inside we’re all the same. And there’s only one race: the HUMAN race! Amirite??? Ugh. Listen. If your ability to respect someone’s right to exist requires pretending that they are just like you, that’s a problem. We are not all the same. And things like race, gender, disability, etc. are exactly the kinds of things that shape our lives and our experiences and make us different from one another. Being different is not the problem. The idea that being the same as you is what gives us the right to exist is the problem.
Jamilah King, This Is a Really Helpful List on How Not to be a Good Ally (via ellesugars)

(via shavingryansprivates)